/ Saturday, August 26, 2006
Damn, i'm so in love with High School Musical now. Just went to checked out the dvd at HMV with jur yesterday, and it costs a whooping 30-odd bucks! It's like gonna clean me out man!
Ah wells, but i'm still putting the song lyrics here.
When There Was Me and You
It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you
I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song
Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you
I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind
Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you
Totally so in love with it that i can't stop humming it. Haha
/Hopped!
10:37 PM
/ Thursday, August 24, 2006
I'm so frigging pissed with that frigging brother of mine! Bloody Hell! I was just out for a few hours and he used my latop for DotA! ARGH! And he had the bloody cheek to say that he asked my mom for permission! Fuck! Ya, shared, when the thing is still is working order that is. When something happens, it's all my frigging fault again! And he still dares to complain to my mother that i'm selfish! Bloody Hell! Turned off the wrong power, BANGED MY LAPTOP AGAINST THE POLE AND FUCKING SCRATCHED THE COVER! FUCK!
AND MY MOM STILL SIDES WITH HIM! FUCK! YA-LA! YA-LA! EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT AGAIN!
I really don't know what's going to happen to my laptop when i go for my chalet and bangkok trip. My poor laptop...and with my biased-as-usual mom, sigh. I'm fighting a losing battle....sigh
/Hopped!
5:01 PM
Heyy, i'm back, finally! Well, i wanted to blog about this last night, but for some reasons, blogger.com couldn't be gotten into.
Well, now that today is Thursday, i could say, FINALLY!! MY EXAMS ARE COMING TO AN END! 2 down! and 1 more to go! Woo-hoo! But, the last paper is the bane of my poly life. Network Technology! Argh! Mug! Mug! Mug! For the last paper! Haha!
And hells, i was stricken with a lousy fever on Tuesday afternoon. Right after my Database exam. Argh! Hells, the feeling was terrible! I tell you. Yet, somehow i had to force myself to memorise the notes for my OOAD exam on Wednesday, which is like yesterday. Sigh, and i endured it. Finally it's over. Hmm, it seems that everyone is falling sick. Maybe cause we thon the whole night on sat, all the way to sunday morning! Haha, Jur Head! Now, you're down a flu too! Haha!
And i feel so bad, for putting my friends on aeroplane yesterday. We kinda agreed to watch a movie right after the OOAD exam, but i wasn't feeling too well. My head was really heavy and my stomach hurts. I'm sorry guys, so i took a taxi and went home first. And woo-hoo, i'm feeling so much better now! Yeah, will make up to you guys another day ;) Promise ;)
And Jur Head is going into the army soon, and for the entire of my holidays, it's like i'm going to be all alone. Sigh. It's not that i don't have much friends or anything, but it's like i can't go suntanning, shopping, teh-and-tarik sessions anymore. True, I couldn've done this myself, but where's the joy? Or even a nice game of Enfo, DotA or maybe some Halo-ing! Yeah, we hadn't Halo-ed for a long long time. We should do this one more time before you go in man Jur. Haha! Well, and many of my other friends are kinda, not spontaneous enough, and some follow the crowd. And my secondary school friends are not always free. Sigh, looks like i'm in for a very boring holiday. Sigh, maybe i should go back to wushu, and complete my driving lessons. And speaking of which, i have to go for my hair cuts alone now. Sheesh! Jur it's all your fault! And when i want to colour my hair, i need YOUR frigging advice! Now that you're in the army with no hair! Argh!! Haha! And my shopping!? I still got loads of things to buyy!! With you in the army, i can't "copy"!!! Haha, you know what i mean right?? -hint -hint! Haha!
Yep, going to pick up my big-baby cousin from school later, and meeting jur for a tan. Hassle up, will blog again later ;)
Bye dudes!
/Hopped!
11:18 AM
/ Sunday, August 20, 2006
Whoa! I'm so darn shag man. After my first night of not sleeping. It's really damn tiring and sleepy...yeah i know, it's a little weird that i'm blogging right after the night. Well, haha...i don't know just waiting for 9 am. Yeah, i know that whatever i say is not making sense...
zzz....
/Hopped!
8:59 AM
/ Friday, August 18, 2006
I'm so sorry for my excessive use of swear words in my previous entry. Guess my anger clouded my judgement and my ability to write properly. But seriously, i couldn't stand it. And sigh, don't know...
/Hopped!
1:45 PM
OH FUCK THAT! WHY IS MY MOM SO FUCKING UNREASONABLE!? WHY CANT SHE LISTEN TO REASON? FUCK IT! I JUST FUCKING TOLD HER THAT MY AUNT IS BRINGING ME TO BANGKOK AND SHE FUCKING HELL BLEW HER TOP. ALL RIGHT, IT WAS A WRONG CHOICE OF WORDS, BUT MY MEANING WAS THAT 'COULD I FUCKING GO?'
AND SHE FUCKING BLEW HER TOP, SAYING ALL THE WHAT SHIT THAT I'M OLD ENOUGH, CAN FLY ALREADY AND THE FUCKING LIKES! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MAN!? UNREASONABLE!!
I already did my part. ALl right? I kept quiet and i apologised. And withheld my temper! Fuck, and you just continued with it. What the fuck is this? ARGH! Bloody shit!
Sometimes i so feel like just fucking you off in the face. But you're are still my fucking mother and i gotta give you the fucking i-don't-think-yet-must-be-given respect you fucking deserve.
Sometimes i just feel like fucking of this family. Why can't you be more sensitive and understanding like other people's parents? Fuck! Now i fucking understand why sometimes even dad is pissed off with you.
YOU'VE GOT A FUCKING BAD ATTITUDE AND AN UN-OPEN MIND! FUCK YOU LARH!
GO PRAY SO MUCH FOR WHAT!? EVERY WEEK GO THIS TEMPLE, GO THAT TEMPLE, BUT WHAT IS THE FUCKING USE WITH A FUCKING ATTITUDE LIKE THAT? EVERYTIME GO THIS TEMPLE DONATE DONATE, DONATE FUCK MAN! PRAY FUCK MAN! LOOK LIKE A FUCKING SAINT OUTSIDE, TREAT PEOPLE OUTSIDE SO WELL, THEN FUCKING HELL, TREAT YOUR OWN CHILDREN LIKE DIRT!! FUCK LA, GET A FUCKING LIFE AND EARN OUR FUCKING RESPECT!!
Sometimes, i so feel like leaving this fucking screwed-up family. My mother is one that's fucking noisy and i'm seriously going nuts soon here. I can't wait to finish NS, finish my university education, find a job, buy a house, and the my fucking ass outta here. I don't care if you don't let me go or not. I just want a place where i can find some peace and sanity!!! Any place will do, as long as i'm far far away from my mom!
/Hopped!
1:25 PM
All right man, i'm counting down the days to next week. Finally, it's the exams. Gosh, it's high time that the exams are coming. I simply can't wait to slaughter you all! Haha, i sound like a butcher, slaughtering pigs! Haha!
And a piece of good news guys, well, not that many of you know this blog, but i'm able to attend the chalet with you guys! And i'm rejoicing man! Well, haha, i hope you guys are too...cause i'm going to slaughter you guys there too!! Haha! And bring loads of goodies!!
Well, going for my dental soon, think i'll stop here for now, but i'll be back ;)
/Hopped!
12:09 PM
/ Monday, August 14, 2006
I felt so lost suddenly, and i've no idea why. A sudden feel of emptiness just existed inside me. And i really can't explain the reason, it just came. Am i on the verge of mental breakdown? The moment i opened my books, i saw that there was simply so much to study. What's going on Jestyn? When did this ever happened? What happened to your happy-go-lucky spirit?
When was the last time i felt so lost? I don't remember. As i stood there, dwelling and brooding upon the things which happened. Was it because of the cursing and swearing i got from marcus? Just because i couldn't attend the chalet? Or best, i could only appear on the second day? It's not like i had the choice, does it? My aunt asked me to accompany her on her trip, knowing that she hadn't brought me to a trip for ages and i loved shopping. Besides my aunt too, love to shop. And all my overseas trip with my parents always exclude shopping. Is it wrong to do so? Sometimes, i feel that i'm closer to my aunts and uncles rather than my parents.
And i just had a big quarrel with my mom. Yeah, i know it's an 'again' situation. But can't she just be more reasonable and understanding? I'm playing a game of DotA with my cousin and she had to butt in and demand this and that. Just because my sis's computer screen doesn't light up, and it's like i'm the one at fault. I've already given you the reason, and you think that i'm plain lazy. Will you please stop being bias and unreasonable once and for all? When i told you that my laptop is coming out with a 'buzzing' sound, and eversince my sister used it, you said that i'm lying just because i want a new laptop.
Yes, i did said that i wanted a new one. But i never demanded anything from you. Did I? I merely made a comment, since my laptop is old, and it's time to change that's all. I didn't go up to your face and said, "I want a new latop NOW!" How i wish that you were as understanding and reasonable as my aunt. And everytime you complain that why i'm not like a certain someone. Well, if you think so highly of him, then why don't you go and adpot him as your godson? So that you can shower all your love and praises on him. Rather than venting out all your frustrations and biasness on me.
Although you treated my brothers and sisters way better than me, I've never complained. I can still remember clearly the pain and humiliation i suffered during the period they are facing now. And my brothers and sisters are like, having the time of their lives. Even though my brother's PSLE is like next week, he's still free to go out with his friends and mingle around. Without a care. I never had any of these previlages when i was his age. And my sister is going from bad to worse. I can't 'control' her anymore. She's getting wilder by the day and i seriously won't be suprise when she ends up astray. I know that me, as their elder brother, should be doing something. But there's a limit to what i can do, and with your biasness, how much can be done?
Do you think talking nicely helps? If it does, it would've worked long ago. Do you think that's I've to wait till now? And what about using force? They would've cried and complained to you about it and in the end, I'm the one who's the bad guy.
And my sister is one hell of a lucky girl and my brother is the apple of my parent's eyes. In their eyes, they're perfect, and i'm the one that is tainted. My sister that she wanted to go to Australia to study and my mom said ok, and by the time she finishes her 'O' Levels, she get to go. I know that this might be alittle too early to say, but i can't believe that my mom could be so nice to her and gave her a straight answer straight away. As for my little brother, he's one that my mum and dad really dotes on. He gets what he wants and wins every argument. He's the prince of the family. He wanted a new handphone, he gets it. He wanted a new monitor screen, he gets it. Whatever he wanted, he gets it. And me? Well, when i said that i wanted to go overseas to study, my mom laughed at my idea, saying that i was being ridiculous and she'll never pay for it. Told me that i'm to work, and save enough to go myself. I said i wanted a new handphone, she said that my phone is still fine and in working order and i don't need a new one. She told me that once i'm done with my gym session last sunday, give her a call and she and my dad will pick me up.
In the end? "Oh, we are so out of the way and it doesn't make any sense to pick you up" Before that she was saying, "OK, so when you're done, give us a call and we'll come and pick you up. We will be at your grandfather's place( which is nearby )." I clearly remembered the words. So who's the one twisting and turning the words? I said that if you are so demanding, why don't you try looking at it and tell me what's happening? And you said that i said this, "you asked me to do it myself!" Hello! I never said that all right? Stop making assumptions and please stop "volunteering me" to do chores for you. In front of other people also. Just because you want some face. If i were to do it, i'll do it myself. I don't need anyone to volunteer in my behalf. All right? And so, if you favour my siblings so much, I shall leave their welfare in your care then. So please, don't say that because I'm their elder brother or something along that line. Since you care for them more than you for me, their future is in your hands. If they become successful or astray, I'm in no position to control anything, all right?
I just want to lead my life according to how i want it to be. I want to write my own life-story using my own pen. Not yours or anyone else. Your pen is used for writing my other sibling's lives. Not mine. You can think that i'm like a bird who has wings and capable of flying. If that's the case, just let me be all right? If you choose to think that way.
And i apologise to the Higher Powers up there for any disrespectful thoughts or actions i've done or said or thought today. I don't mean any disrespect or unfillial, it's just that, sigh, i've no idea how to put this down in words either. I hope the Higher Powers up there do.
And one more thing, i seriously wonder, if you do visit my blog? Well, if you do, please, let me apologise for anything wrong that i've caused you. i just hope that, we would still be friends, like in the past. It really doesn't matter if we're together or not. Loving a person doesn't necessarily meant that we've to be together. I just want you to be happy, with whoever you may choose to be. But i want you to know this, i'll always be there for you spiritually and emotionally, and waiting for the chance which i know would never be given.
Please don't take any offense from what is written here. All these words were from the bottom of my heart, which has been there for a very long long time.
Frankly speaking, after saying all these out, i seriously felt so much better. Seems like the feeling of lost is gone, and the old Jestyn is back. I hope...
/Hopped!
8:33 PM
Oh fish, to hells with all the bloody sayings that fairytales don't exists and dreams upon wishing stars don't come true. I've never believed in any of this bullshit.
Somehow, i find myself writing my own fairytale where dreams upon wishing stars do come true. So, please, don't even think of asking me to alter the story, or saying this is all a dream. My Pen do write miracles, when inscribed upon dreams, they do come true.
and I'm still waiting for the day when i can tell the whole word proudly, bearing these words, 'I've written my own fairytale.'
/Hopped!
2:29 PM
/ Sunday, August 13, 2006
heyyy!! I'm back! After so many days! Haha! So sorry to you dudes and duddetts out there! Had too much sheits coming up to blog man, so, i'm making use of my spare time now to blog =)
Well, haha, i've got a new hair colour and a new look! That's byebye to black hair, hello red hair! Haha. Damn, and my new hair style is kinda outrageous..according to Keith. I sure hope that i don't get screwed outside man! Haha!
And i managed to get 2 tickets for this year's ndp! Actual Day! Woo-hoo! It's like, this is the first time i ever went to watch ndp! At the stadium! Well, was kinda pissed initially when jur said that he was out at ORCHARD when we were suppose to meet in the morning, have lunch together and head down to Kallang. Real freaking pissed! And i travelled all the way down to orchard to meet jurhead and finally, we're on the way to the National Stadium
Check out the cool pictures!
check out those trucks man!!
Grr...all right i'm damn fed-up waiting to upload the rest of the pictures...so i guess i won't be uploading them this time..maybe next time. ok? promise.
Yea, and speaking of which...i've kinda forgot what i wanted to talk about. It's all the waiting for the pictures fault! Oh, i went for my face treatment, at New York Skin Solutions! And the results are, two words, Pain and Cold!
Haha well, I think i'll stop here for now, oh and did i mention that i had my tests on friday? Haha Infocomm sucked but Innovation was great, it felt like doing a Lit paper and again, and it feels great!
Oh..i really gotta go already, hassle up! Bye!
-winks
/Hopped!
12:20 AM
/ Tuesday, August 08, 2006
WOW!! I've finally dyed my hair!! And it looks great! Althought i was kind of shocked with myself initially, hahaha! Totally couldn't recognise myself!! Plus with a totally outrageous hairstyle!!
Gosh! I'm becoming bad!
Hahaha. Had a damn tiring day man, woke up at one, met jurhead at 2.15, had my hair cut at 3.30...all the way to 5! Gosh, colouring one's hair takes a darn long time man. And it stinks of ammonia! And a biting effect! And headache!
Bleah! And hanster never told me any of these side effects before!
Haha, well..wanted to catch clicks, but the tickets were like kinda sold out, so...we ended up shopping at Penisular, looking for hanster's Police shades.
Somehow, we couldn't find it. Haha, hanster get from CK Tangs!
Oh and along the way, we sorta bypassed the area and saw a firework shot up. It's lovely! I tell you. It's only a pity that....
/Hopped!
11:36 PM
/ Monday, August 07, 2006
All right man, suit up! Your break is over and it's time to get back to your line of duty! Haha! Oh man, i feel like an army sergeant. Haha! Well, give myself a break will ya? I just had my RAD re-test today man. Haha, and guess what!?
IT WORKEDD!!!
WHIPPEE!!!
Well, it's not really totally done by me. I had some little help from jeslyn, hahaa i know i know, the name is sounds familiar, but yah, as i was saying, had a some help and i passed! Gosh man, owed it to her big time, else i would've been a sitting duck!
Hmm, seriously not much thing happened over the weekend, oh and apologies for this late entry. Haha, well, i presume that things are happening more or less the same, with the usual gym and dinner at my aunt's house.
But things are starting to gear up with the week! I'm gonna colour my hair! FINALLY!!After such a long time man, and i sure hope that i get a good one! Haha! RED HAIR, HERE I COME!!!
Speaking of which, NDP!! THIS WED!! I've 2 tickets!! Whee!!! And of course i'm going with my "dear(not gay!)" hansteristic cousin! Haha! I always, err ok, MOSTLY give you piority! Haha! ;)
/Hopped!
11:34 PM
/ Thursday, August 03, 2006
Wow, finally! It's the weekend! Man, you don't know how time move so sluggishly the whole week. The feeling is really, really terrible. It's like getting a 20 second maim during DotA. Moving like a snail.
Come to think of it, school's not really that bad, apart from some minor...problems. There is really not much things to worry about. It's like there is only about 6 more papers to go, and I'm off! My aunt said that she's bringing me to Bangkok for a shopping trip, and i'm so looking forward to it. Finally, an overseas trip that is meaningful to mE, at least. Haha!
Yep yep! I've got my tickets for NDP! And it's for the yellow sector, and according to hanster, it's somewhere near the VIP seats. Woo-hoo! I'm so looking forward to the fireworks display! My only and greatest regret, it's that a certain someone isn't able to accompany me.
But I can't blame her. We didn't meet for a long time, we might not be able to re-capture the friendliness we had when we were young. Well, I can only let nature take to take it's course here.
And I so want my iPod video and n80. Well, as usual, my mom is not the sort that favours her own kids. She's the type that listens only to external voices. And that means that I'm on my own. Sigh, why?
But I must say, i'm quite lucky actually, well i shan't elaborate on it, just know that I'm very happy with what i've now, and i'm really cherishing them. Althought i might have overlooked something here...
/Hopped!
10:37 PM
/ Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Wow, i felt like i've just ran a marathon, and completed it! Man, these few days...was a terror! and i endured it! Haha, yep, it's the two test's which is finally over! The Killer ones!! Which are accountings and animation! Woo-hoo!!
I can finally breath easy again! Man! I was like totally, booze-off! So much stress! And yeah, i'm not bragging or being over-confident but i was kinda able to breeze throught it. ALthough i was hovering on the brink of insanity the few hours before the paper. I could practically ripped someone's head off should they bother me. haha! Such violence!
Jeeps, Fad's like an angel clad in human flesh man, or a mortal prophet about to me immortalized? Haha, it's like everything he said so came out in our exams! And when i said everything, it literally meant EVERYTHING! Haha!
It's like just before we stepped into the examination hall for accountings, he mentioned about "Sunk Cost", and waa-laa! It really appeared! During the RAD test, he said "Date", as in the program, would come out, and oOLaLa! It happened!! And this morning, he taught me 'slicing' and it really came out again!
Haha! Is this just me or plain De javu!?
/Hopped!
11:35 PM
/ Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Ok, so i lied again about me not blogging again. Haha, well, it can't be helped, i've got like a 4 hours break since many of my lectures are no more, and with an additional 1 hour break.
SO, that sums up to like 4 hours with practically nothing to do. Well, Wee Kwan initially wanted to look for a lecturer to book a lab and get on with our sluggish-moving OOAD project. Apparently, Lady Luck ain't smiling at us today.
Well, first of, our lecturer couldn't be found. We practically combed, well, almost all the places that we thought that she could be found. And guess what? You've got the answer. Damn, looking for teachers in a poly is akin to looking for a needle in a haystack. It's soo hard to find!
Well, and somehow, we ended up at the computer lab slacking away. Yeah i know, i feel guilty since my test is tomorrow, but well...life ain't no fair all the time you know.
Seriously, what's with my 'punky-hip-hop' slang nowdays? Geez. And i thought that i was supposed to be speaking GOOD English. Haha.
And i was so seriously disappointed with the results of my RAD lab test. I was like kinda, all right, confirmed to be the only guy who failed that test. It's so disappointing. I don't wish to repeat the module. Thank god that she's good enough to give me a re-test, and poiks promised to come with me next monday to help me out.
That's like so good of him, seriously thinks that he has a heart of gold. Haha, i'm being so dramatic, and the lecturer too. Bless them.
/Hopped!
12:09 PM